Edit My Paper (2 pages)

QUALITYWRITERS.ORG is the ideal place for homework help. If you are looking for affordable, custom-written, high-quality and non-plagiarized papers, your student life just became easier with us. Click the button below to place your order.


Order a Similar Paper Order a Different Paper

Below is my teacher comments about my paper. I want you to edit my paper based on these comments:

I NEED AT LEAST 23 OUT OF 25 TO GET A.

Purpose & Focus: 10.25/15

Organization & Transitions: 4.5/5

Tone & Editing: 4.5/5

Overall Grade: 19.25/25

Nice start! You have identified a problem and have established that it is, in fact, a problem. Crime in the streets is certainly a pressing issue that calls for a speedy resolution. While you have discussed this general problem fairly well, you have actually not specified what area you are writing about. Crime can occur anywhere, of course, but the particularities of each community certainly matter. Some of the contributing factors you name, such as inadequate street lighting or scarce police presence, may not be factors in every area experiencing a crime wave. Being specific about the location of the problem can help you to explain to your audience the particular nuances of that area and also help you to better develop a unique solution tailored to that area. Your overall scope here is good, and I have no doubt that the statistics you cite back you up. However, the assignment calls for you to identify a local problem and then to propose, develop, and defend one particular solution. You are getting there, but have not quite done that yet. If you choose to revise, I recommend editing this work to address a local issue of crime and to focus on just one way to address the problem. It might not be the absolute solution, but just try to focus on advancing the best solution you can think of.

Overall, this is a start in the right direction with room for improvement. Nice start!

Writerbay.net

Got stuck with a writing task? We can help! Use our paper writing service to score better grades and meet your deadlines.

Get 15% discount for your first order


Order a Similar Paper Order a Different Paper
Writerbay.net