In essence, I practiced utilitarianism because I believed being heterosexual would be better for the majority– my family–, rather than deciding what was best for me. Mill’s principle of Utility states that an action is permissible if and only if there is no other action available to the agent that would have had better consequences. The choice to mask behind heterosexuality was not permissible because the consequences were presumed, rather than concrete. Fortunately, once I decided that it was my life and I deserved happiness, all the assumptions of abandonment and backlash disappeared, and my family was extremely accepting.

Bentham’s Felicific calculus is an algorithm that calculates the degree or amount of pleasure that a specific action is likely to cause. When applying it to my utilitarian moment, the intensity of the pleasure was not intense at all and the duration didn’t last. I was uncertain about my choice and so forth. My family was effected, however the tension, resentfulness and lying subsided once I was true to myself.