Make some revisions for a given paper.Please make the paper 4 pages long, and change the paper into conception style but not suggestion.

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Comments:

Sample Organization
The introduction:
Open with an interesting quotation, or with a general statement about the concept, or with a surprising fact or with a question.
Briefly describe your concept and then define it in your own way.
Provide background information of the concept. You may use your personal experience.
Write a thesis statement

The body paragraphs:
In each body paragraph, you may use definition, classification, comparison and contrast, narrative process, and cause and effect. In order to help readers understand the information, use specific terms for categories, concrete examples, simile, and/or metaphor. Use also personal experience.

The conclusion:
Reiterate the thesis in different words.
Frame the essay by relating the end to the beginning.
End with a memorable quote.
Follow it thoroughly!